you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
