Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
