I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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