You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize