Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
