she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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