What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
