Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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