People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
