R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
