So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize