a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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