so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize