We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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