so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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