this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
