There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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