he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
