fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
