spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
