Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
