So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
