those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's the barista slut.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
