I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
