That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
