That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
