just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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