I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
