I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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