Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
