STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
