Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
