why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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