you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
