I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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