please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
