We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize