Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sext me about skeletons
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
