Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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