how do flat chested girls get laid?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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