please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
