Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
