To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
