Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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