I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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