Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
