Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
