Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
