Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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