My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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