I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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