i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I didn't notice because vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is my gift to your gina
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize