Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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