dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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