Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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