i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
