so that wasnt chicken after all
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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