i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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