Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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