Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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