Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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