ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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